The silly things that she does
by BlackButterfly9
Summary: Orihime is trying a new trend call "Planking" but causing herself to get into lots of danger and trouble. Ulquiorra thinks it is ridiculous and has to save her every time. Will this little thing endanger her life? AU. No flames. R&R! T danger and others


"Woman what are you doing?"

"I'm planking!"

Ulquiorra almost wanted to smack his face then and there at the ridiculous woman in front of him. Planking, it was a trend that was from Australia (or so the woman told him) and started to go around the world. You had to lie on your face, facedown, and arms to the side of you, be as straight as possible, and just be there. He saw no point in the stupid trend and wouldn't mind if it wasn't getting Orihime in danger.

You are supposed to do it somewhere active, people dancing, people running, and the more people the better. Unfortunately, he cared a lot for Orihime so he had to always save her before she got herself hurt.

This trend was dangerous but this was only entitled for Orihime Inoue.

-…-…-…-…-…-…-

Ulquiorra and Orihime were walking around town to get groceries when they were in the middle of the crosswalk she stopped. The orange head laid herself down on the crosswalk, planking.

Ulquiorra sighed rubbing his temples "Woman. Get off the floor. This isn't a unlimited time crosswalk!"

"Quick! Take a picture! The more people the better!" she threw him her phone, which surprisingly he caught it. He saw the time the orange hand was blinking down in 10 seconds. People were rushing while Orihime was planking on the floor being careless as usual.

Ulquiorra finally found the camera and shot a quick picture "There! Let's go. Now" he ordered as he effortlessly picked her up putting her over his shoulder as he fast paced to the other side of the street. He sighed in relief because as soon as it turned green the cars had no mercy as they ran the streets.

Orihime smiled "That was awesome! Let me see!" she grabbed the phone and smiled widely. "Thank you Ulqui!" she pecked his cheek as she ran on ahead. "Come on! There is lot's of things to do today!"

Ulquiorra felt the corners of his mouth turn slightly upward at the orange headed woman "Groceries…" he said thoughtfully. He had hoped that dangerous plank was her daily dose of what she needed today. Boy was he wrong.

As they walked to the supermarket, Orihime grabbing a metal cart as they both strolled throughout the aisles, Orihime was at it again. While Ulquiorra wasn't looking but bending down to get a can of beans, she jumped into action. Orihime jumped on the metal cart and brought herself to plank on the top shelf.

Ulquiorra turned back around almost dropping the cans in the process of what he saw "Woman. Get down now. This is dangerous!" he frowned deeply knowing that the shelf couldn't take that much weight but possibly break.

She giggled, "Come on Ulquiorra! Just a quick picture!" she handed him the phone once again as he sighed loudly getting annoyed by this. He took the picture then quickly caught Orihime as she practically fell on him. "I'm sorry. Are you ok?" her voice concerned

Ulquiorra closed his eyes then opened them seeing his vision focusing "The real question is, Are you ok? You shouldn't do such reckless things" he sat up as Orihime was on his lap pouting like a child

"But I like doing the planking thing. It's fun when you get the hang of it" she smiled at him. Ulquiorra sighed as he pulled a piece of her hair gently as he kissed her orange hair then her cheek tenderly. Orihime felt butterflies fly up as he kissed her gently, she didn't want Ulquiorra to worry over a little trend so much. Ulquiorra then saw a mother and her child looking at them.

He whispered "We'll continue this at home" it was a promise and Orihime shivered slightly as she got up. She bowed to the mother and child saying her apologies. The mother accepted calling them 'hormonal teens'. Orihime was only an eighteen year old but Ulquiorra was a nineteen year old so that didn't count them as teen's right?

They left the store as they walked back home then passing a construction site as an idea popped in Orihime's head. Orihime walked in the construction site and planked in the middle of it. Ulquiorra saw Orihime missing and sighed wondering where she went this time. He saw the construction site and felt the color drain from his face as he dropped the groceries running inside. There in the middle of it was Orihime planking as the workers were working as if she wasn't there.

He pulled both hands on his face and slid them down in frustration "WOMAN. Give me the phone," he ordered. He knew now to just get straight to the point and ask for the phone. Then he remembered he had her phone as he took out the pink phone taking the picture quickly. "Get up now"

Orihime smiled and got up "All right! See? That wasn't dangerous!" she brushed the dust off of her. She heard a faint voice calling out something but she didn't hear it. She then saw a shadow below her getting bigger and bigger. She looked up a scream coming out of her throat. Ulquiorra quickly took action as he tackled her away from the spot and saw a huge piece of heavy metal quickly stomp to the ground creating a huge pound of dust.

Orihime was shaking as she held onto Ulquiorra's shirt for her dear life staring at the ground of what could've been.

They walked home quietly seeing that no one took the fallen groceries. They entered the home and the door shut behind them. Orihime waited for Ulquiorra to lose his temper but nothing came. Nothing came but silence. She wished Ulquiorra would rather yell at her then give deafening silence.

Ulquiorra put down the groceries then the pink phone down on the table. He left to his room not speaking a word to Orihime at all. He told her to stop and she almost lost her life due to the recklessness of the stupid trend of planking. She needed to learn her lesson and he wasn't going to talk or acknowledge her for the whole day.

Orihime sat on the couch with the phone on her lap. She saw all the pictures but she didn't feel great. Ulquiorra was mad at her and she didn't know what she would do. She thought of this completely unfair because Ulquiorra had done some pretty reckless things in the past. She forgave him! If she were to ever ignore Ulquiorra then he would pry for her attention until she gave in.

A huge smile painted on her face as she got up putting the phone on the couch "Until I gave in. So the question is, what would Ulquiorra do in my position?" she then left to his room or rather their room. They slept together but nothing more than that. Orihime smiled as she leaned on the doorway "Hey Ulquiorra"

He said nothing as he was reading a book ignoring Orihime completely "…"

Orihime smiled closing the door locking it quietly going over to him "What you reading? Greek myths? Interesting" she murmured. She made sure to get into his personal space as she was on all fours staring into his pretty emerald eyes.

Ulquiorra said nothing once again turning a page in the book "…" in his language was saying that he was ignoring her and to go away.

She frowned "Come on Ulquiorra! I'm sorry for doing something reckless and I won't do it again! I'll be safer this time!" she dropped her plan completely. It was hard especially against Ulquiorra. She brought her hands to shag his soft black hair "Please?" she pouted at him

Ulquiorra closed his eyes as he continued ignoring her. Orihime glared at him as she got up from the bed "Fine. If that is the way you want it then I'll just call up some friends to take me for some skydiving. Yeah! Sky diving! I'll be planking too! I wonder if you will ever see me back" with that she started for the door to unlock it until she felt herself being brought back to the bed. "What?"

She was on the bed, her orange hair fanning out as Ulquiorra stared her down "Don't even think about it" he growled at her but Orihime always thought his growls were more like a kitty purring. She smiled glad that Ulquiorra was talking to her once again as she lifted her hand to the side of his face. He sighed contently closing his eyes then murmured "Do you know how much fear you put in me after your little stunts? I care for you Orihime so stop the recklessness" he opened his green eyes that lit up the poor lighting in the room.

Orihime muttered, "I'm sorry. I was doing it for fun but I'll keep it down. Okay?" she offered a sweet smile to him. Ulquiorra stared at her brown eyes as he leaned over to kiss her fully on the mouth. Orihime's body tingled as they continued back and forth until Ulquiorra wanted to go deeper. Opening her mouth as his tongue explored the wet cavern and Orihime let out a soft moan tangling her fingers in his soft black hair once more.

-…-…-…-…-…-…-

Orihime peeked an open eye and rolled over to meet Ulquiorra's breathing chest. She smiled bringing her body closer to his and she had successfully did not let Ulquiorra take it all the way. She wanted to wait a little longer plus she liked giving Ulquiorra a good chase once in awhile.

She got up changing her clothes into a comfortable sweater and sweatpants as she skipped over to the living room. She smiled with an idea "Hm…"

Ulquiorra woke up because something was telling him that Orihime was doing something horrible. Something she shouldn't be doing so early in the morning. He walked to the living room to see Orihime laying two couches planking.

He groaned softly "What. Are. You. Doing?"

Orihime smiled "Planking!" she then sat correctly to stare at his face "I told you I was playing safe" she giggled at his expression. Ulquiorra sighed but ghosted a smile enveloping her into a hug, the silly things that she does.

**A/N-** here it is! I do not hate planking but I'm just plain neutral about it. This is obviously AU. Of course don't do this at home children! Dangerous! This is strictly for Orihime because we all know why. Thanks for reading! **No flames!** Leave a review.

**Thoughts:** Inspired to a picture I saw of Orihime planking and Ulquiorra is like "What are you doing?" It's on RuskyBoz profile link. http : / / rusky – boz . deviantart . com /

Just take out the spaces and you will see on "Random Lulz". She is a fantastic artist!


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